defeation:

hioctopus:

sociopathhasthemoosebox:

uncreativeminds:

raspberryragdoll:

Dear future husband, if this doesn’t happen I want a divorce.

Dear future wife, if I don’t do this. Please divorce me.

okay so who thinks the above commenters should marry each other?

I ship it

cameron, this will be us one day <3

funnyordie:

The Exploding People

A weekly foray into the lives of fictional shitbags.

funnyordie:

Let’s Make all the Anthony Weiner Puns Now and Just Get Them Out of the Way

Former disgraced congressman Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York. Great news if you’ve been waiting for “journalists” to whip out all their Weiner puns.

Here’s a list to get us started. Please add more Weiner wordplay of your own.

funnyordie:

The 15 Most Confusing Signs Ever

Go home, signs, you’re drunk.

vbhsfdjavgd:

Why is this so cool?

(Source: thingsorganizedneatly)

(Source: pride)

“HONEY”

“WHAT”

“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”

“WHAT”

“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”

“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”

“WHAT?!”

“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”

“I NEED THEM”

“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”

“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”

“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”

“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”

“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

(Source: nomadichead)